How Do I Know I Have Forgiven Someone?

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31-32

Sometimes, the best in you can only be brought out by the worst done to you. This usually happens by the people you have loved, helped, and trusted the most. There’s an old saying that “time heals all things.” Well, that is not true regarding offenses. Unforgiveness does not get better if you leave it alone or try to push it down. You either fester unforgiveness or you foster healing but you have to be doing one or the other. And if you choose to ignore the unforgiveness in your heart, it will get worse. 

Paul’s letter in Ephesians gives a beautiful plan of action of how to release forgiveness. He says to first “put away all bitterness, wrath, anger, and harsh words.” Start by draining all the damaging emotions of unforgiveness out of your life. He goes on to say, “Be kind to one another and tenderhearted” (which means open-hearted). If you can’t say a kind word about that person or even look at them, you haven’t forgiven them. 

Forgiveness may not instantly happen; sometimes, you need to ask God to help you release it. Pray, knock, and ask until love and forgiveness begin to pour out of your mouth, heart, emotions, and attitude. It may take you asking Jesus to change your heart because the hurt is so deep you cannot do it on your own.

A scripture in Romans 12:18 says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” This means there are some people who are never going to be at peace with you, and that is not your problem. If you have forgiven them, you have done your part. What others do or don’t do is not your responsibility. They will stand before God one day and give an account. 

Always keep the right spirit no matter what is done to you, and God will take care of everything else. Love God with all your heart, and love others as you love yourself. When you do that, you can rest assured that forgiveness has taken place in your life.

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