“Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” Am 3:3 NKJV
A successful marriage is based on two things: “finding” the right person, and “becoming” the right person. And the second thing is harder than the first. Just because two people share the same bed and the same name, doesn’t guarantee harmony. Here are some practical suggestions based on the word E-V-A-L-U-A-T-E:
Enjoy. Do you enjoy the same things? Maybe it’s no big deal now, but later when your husband is glued to the ballgame on TV and you want a little conversation, it will be. Values. The Bible asks, “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” Are you able to agree on major issues such as intimacy, child rearing, finances, in-laws, goals, and your relationship with God? You may disagree over many things, but these are make-or-break issues. Accessibility. Are you both emotionally accessible, or is he the strong silent type who doesn’t communicate—or understand your need to? Love. Do you really love each other? Not the Hollywood version but the kind that listens to your spouse’s opinions and concerns, overlooks their faults and failings, values them, and expresses itself through kindness? Understanding. As surely as God doesn’t make two snowflakes alike, He doesn’t make two people alike. So, can you understand and handle each other’s differences? Appreciation. Your mate can’t read your mind, so get into the habit of expressing your appreciation for one another. Temperament. If you’re naturally upbeat but they’re moody and introverted, you may have an oil-and-water mix. How will you handle this? Environment. If you’re from different backgrounds, are you comfortable in the same social and spiritual settings? If you want a happy marriage, E-V-A-L-U-A-T-E these things.